On Tuesday, September 4th, we went to bed like usual and, as had also become usual, I was feeling disappointed that we still had received zero contacts from expectant moms considering placing their babies for adoption. I wondered if anyone would ever contact us. I wondered if we would wait for years, watching the enthusiasm slowly fade from the eyes of our friends and family, and I wondered if our enthusiasm would also wane then. If that sounds morose, it was.
On Wednesday, September 5th, we woke up in a different universe. I sat down at my computer with my coffee and almost choked: the email I'd been checking for five months finally had a message. I think Eric thought I was playing a prank on him when I called him on his way to work to read the message out loud to him, but it was real.
The past two weeks have been a blur, but the news is good. We're matched! We're sure you have lots of questions. I (Chris) am going to try to cover some of them here.
OMG, you're matched! Congratulations! Wait, what does that mean?
It means that, to the best of anyone's ability to determine the future, an expectant mother has chosen us to adopt her baby and we have agreed to do so.
So this is a for sure thing?
Yes and no. This does mean that we won't be talking to any other expectant moms who contact us and this expectant mom won't be searching for any other families. It is not, however, a done deal.
Think of matching like an engagement. Most engagements end in marriages. Most folks go into an engagement fully intending to get married. Yet not all engagements end in marriage. Either partner can break it off. The same is true of matching. That's not meant to be scary, just realistic.
Why are you sharing if it might not happen? Aren't you worried you'll be disappointed?
The worry of disappointment never completely leaves the mind of any adoptive parent until things really are certain. We can't deny that. We have, however, chosen not to let fear lead us. We can be afraid or we can face our fears and love this little boy like we do already. We could try and pretend not to, but we know that wouldn't be true, or right. He deserves our love, even now.
He?! It's a boy?!
Yes, it's a boy. (insert gigantic smileys here)
When's he due? Who's the mom? Where's the dad? Are they married? What's their race? Where do they live? How old are they? Are they space aliens?
No on the space aliens.
The baby is due January 16, 2013.
Both the expectant mother and father are involved in the adoption plan.
They live in Virginia, within a day's drive of Roanoke.
Virginia?! That's awesome! Doesn't that make things easier?
Yes and no.
It means our primary agency, IAC, who we like and trust, will not be able to assist us as much as they might otherwise do if the expectant mom were in a state where there's an IAC office.
On the other hand, our son being born in Virginia means we will be able to bring him straight home once he's in our custody. There will be no lengthy, expensive, inconvenient waiting period in another state. This is a big plus!
And the rest of the questions . . . ?
Unfortunately, that's all you get. We totally get your curiosity, we really do, but the details of the expectant family's lives are theirs to tell, not ours. Protecting their privacy is part of our respect for them, a respect they've returned and which is necessary, we believe, for forming a long-term relationship with one another for everyone's benefit, especially our son's. Ultimately, what we'd like from you is your continued support and all that other stuff isn't important for that.
We really like the expectant parents as we've gotten to know them so far. We hope that someday their involvement in our family's lives will mean that some of you will get to know them, too. Until then, you'll have to satisfy yourself with the pleasure of knowing us!
Baby names?
I'm a real Billy Big Mouth when it comes to secrets, but that's one that's remained tightly under wraps and will continue to be so until we introduce our new son to you.
Are you having a shower?
Most likely, but not until the baby comes home and the revocation period has ended.
What's the revocation period? Will you be able to be there for the birth? When does the baby come home? When will you know for sure?
Heyyy, we just matched! Take it easy! Questions regarding the birth are best saved until after it happens. At this point, most of those decisions are yet to be made. We can't say it enough: we value your support and enthusiasm. We'll keep you updated!
