It's been four weeks since I last posted an entry. This blog thing is still a little shaky for me. I was excited at first to find that I was ready to post weekly; then I was disappointed when that petered out. I can only chalk it up to one thing, though: I got what I needed. I really needed to put my thoughts out there and not keep them jumbled up in my head. I really wanted to have an entirely one-sided conversation, such as one has with a computer screen, where I got to say everything on my mind and the screen just listened. Once I got those thoughts out, I found I didn't feel the need to share quite so much. So, like so many, this will most likely be a every now and then kind of blog, rather than the weekly (or more frequent) stuff that good guys put out.
We're actually further from our goal that we were, so to speak.
Here's why.
We have to do fingerprints for background checks. We did these way back in September and sent them off. The week after Christmas our home study agency gets back to us to say they were done incorrectly and we'll need to do them again. They graciously send us new fingerprint cards free of charge and instructions.
When we received these instructions, it became very clear what had happened. Neither of us had set eyes on this sheet of paper before, but when we included it with the original packet of information from the agency, it became clear it was meant to have been included there. That omission meant we didn't receive any instructions as to how to do our fingerprints. No wonder we got it wrong.
As it turns out, we were supposed to mail the fingerprint cards to the agency, which would mail them where they needed them to go. Without that information, we turned to the information our primary agency had given us and mailed them directly to the FBI. Here I have to accept a little of the responsibility for this mix-up for ourselves: if we weren't sure, we should have asked. As with so many things in adoption, though, everybody does it a little differently.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still pretty upset with our home study agency. It doesn't take a genius to put all the right pieces of paper in an envelope, and of all the items to omit, it had to be in regards to the process that took a long period of time to complete. Also, we told them it was coming, so when it didn't show up and continued to not show up for three months, you think someone might have said something, but nooooo. So I say we can take 25% of the blame and the agency deserves 75%.
I wish I could say this was atypical for them, but this has pretty much been how things have been with them since the start. I still have complete confidence in their ability to finish our home study, but I'm willing to bet this won't be our last trifling delay. Thankfully, this agency actually does very little itself. The social worker it has assigned to us is awesomesauce and definitely makes this as easy as possible. She and we do the work.
Still, this means that we will have to wait as much as another three months for this fingerprints to come back. We need them to complete our home study. I tell myself this is fine. With Eric's dissertation defense next week, it was probably a little ambitious to try to be in the books by then. This will give the both of us time to really finish things up together and really get ready.
Oh, and those second fingerprints? We mailed them off and forgot to sign them. 100% our bad. This time the agency was right on the ball, returned them to us immediately and we sent them back with signatures.
Oops.
Lest you think there has been no progress in four weeks, that isn't true. Along with the cover photo for our Dear Birth Parent letter, we also have completely approved text and supporting photos. Now just to design that letter and our website. A really good way to spend three months, if you ask me . . .
So that's where we are as we approach the date (Jan. 26) that we'd originally intended to be in the books. It's okay that we're not ready. Unlike so many others who are going through the same process, this is not the second half of a longer journey through infertility. For us, this is still very new and we still have lots of patience and energy. A few more months will only allow us more time to prepare. I've read of interims much longer than this between the beginning of the process and "in the books."
Something thought-provoking happened during our second fingerprint session. I think I'll make that the topic of my next entry. I hope everyone had a happy holiday and thanks for reading!
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